


Blood Is Not Just Food

by nork



Series: Moments [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, i think i didn't really get their characters, i think i might have to do something else with these two, i wanted to try out kanaya, near panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:44:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6719302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nork/pseuds/nork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya works on the trees outside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood Is Not Just Food

You had long since realised that this new world was quiet. Not as quiet as daytime Alternia, where the roar of your chainsaw would slice through the silence, but not loud.

After Sgrub- or whatever your game had devolved into after killing the Black King- everyone stayed close. So close. But everyone all had their coping techniques for what happened, didn’t they? Rose buried herself in her psychology, diagnosing you all with something she called ‘PTSD’.

You didn’t exactly know what that meant, but agreed regardless. Something to do with trauma; yup, you’d certainly had plenty of that over the past four years.

Anyway, you’re off track. Back to coping techniques. Your girlfriend threw herself back into her psychology, and you’d gotten back into landscaping. And designing.

Unfortunately, the alchemizers didn’t exist yet (you hoped they never would) and this meant you were back to hand-and-machine sewing all your clothes. Which was fine, you guessed, but it took a long time.

Your chainsaw purred in your hands, slicing through each branch. Careful, straight cuts, controlled and precise. You stepped back, admiring the tree- it had a perfect trunk, unmarred by no silly thin branches. Turning to the next tree, you lifted your chainsaw, but saw a face there instead, a body and violet. So much violet, too much.

Your chainsaw cleaved through a low branch, and you flinched as it settled on the floor and continued to growl. Eridan’s face loomed at you, twisted in confusion or disgust, and he disappeared, along with all the violet.

His douchey glasses evaporated and you found yourself panting, body casting a white glow around you. Your clothing melted into a shirt with long sleeves and a long skirt. It was jade green, not red, you couldn’t bring yourself to wear a red skirt, not yet. Shaking, you reached down to your chainsaw, still vibrating, and fumbled for the switch. It took a few seconds before you found it, pressing as hard as your weak hands would allow. It shrunk rapidly, becoming the lipstick you were so used to.

Captchaloging it rather than holding it sounded like a better idea right now, so that’s what you did. It found a spot in your modus and you straightened up. You held your hands in front of you, and stared down at them. They glowed like you were the sun, only white and a vampire. You concentrated fiercely, trying to remember what Porrim had taught you, but it was failing you right now.

Whatever. You let your hands drop and began to work your way across the field, taking small steps toward the hive- house, you remind yourself. The house you shared with Rose. Usually, the mere thought of her made you smile, but right now wasn’t usual. Normally you didn’t see the face of the troll who you’d killed in retribution; trolls weren’t supposed to feel remorse, a part of your brain snarked at you.

 _No,_ you thought. _That part of society is dead and gone._ You reminded yourself, still trudging along the path towards home. It would be even quieter there, with only the sound of turning pages compared to the bird sounds and the whistling of the wind.

You tripped on a gnarled knot of grass, and fell down. The dirt was tightly packed beneath your palms as you hit the ground, hard. You just about managed to break your fall with your hands and knees. Sitting back on your knees and feet, you held your hands up in front of you to assess the damage.

Drops of bright jade blood were bubbling to the surface- there must’ve been some rock there, a corner of your mind mumbled idly.

You, however, were far from idle. You began to breathe faster and faster, and somehow found the energy to get to your feet, eyes not leaving your hands. It was mesmerizing, and terrifying. You knew, really, you were safe, and everything was okay, but in the last ten minutes you had seen your own blood and the blood of another sentient being you’d killed. Murdered another one of your dwindling species; damn it, there were fewer trolls than humans, and you’d made that number even smaller.

Finally, you ripped your eyes from your bleeding hands to find that your house was not far now. Forcing yourself to take equal, careful steps, you measured your breaths with each step.

_1, 2, breathe, 1, 2, breathe._

The hyperventilating slowed, and your breathing became quiet. At the door of your house, you made one of your shaking hands move to the doorknob, twisting it. The door creaked as it opened, and you cringed only a little.

The first room your house leads into is a nice-sized room, with a table and two sofas. Your girlfriend lounged on one of the sofas, flicking through a black book. You suspected it was a book of spells.

‘Kan, you’re back early,’ Rose noted, not glancing up from her book. You just stood in the doorway, drinking in the comforting smells of the house, letting it wash over you. When she realised you hadn’t replied, the placed her book down on the crooked table beside her. You remembered that it had been a present from Karkat and Dave- it looked roughly hewn, as if they’d carved it with their weapons. Honestly, they probably had. It wouldn’t surprise you.

‘…Kanaya? You aren’t okay, are you? You’re glowing,’ Rose’s calm but concerned voice broke you out of your thoughts. She had gotten up and was moving slowly towards you. You looked at her, seeing the slight frown on her face. You raise your hands helplessly, trying to convey a message you’d never be able to get across with words.

Actually, you probably could, but you were on the verge of crying right then. 

Thankfully, Rose managed to get the message, and took your elbow. Gently she led you to one of the sofas and gave you a slight push for you to sit down. You just gazed at her, unable to do much. The light from your skin glowed slightly on hers, and your clothes changed into a t-shirt and jeans. One of the humans had showed you a pair of jeans back on the meteor and you had to agree that they were pretty comfy.

‘Okay, I’m going to go warm you up a cup of blood or something, alright? You can decide if you’re comfortable telling me about it or if you want to wait. It’s up to you,’ Rose offered, her hand leaving your elbow, and began to walk across the room towards the cooler. She withdrew a vial of thick blood, and you looked away to the ceiling.

As a prank, Jane and John had once stuck silly plastic glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. They were still there, and normally they made you grin. This time, they helped you ground yourself more firmly than before. You forgot about the ebbing stinging in your palms and just memorised every edge of each star. It was rather therapeutic.

Rose came over with a mug of sweet smelling blood. You had regained enough control over your emotions to thank her and smile. You sipped at the hot blood and decided that you would tell Rose what had happened.

‘I just wasn’t thinking, and I saw Eridan and I lost it. I thought it best to head back,’ half-lie. You didn’t know what to do other than come back. ‘I lost my balance and skinned my palms-‘ you showed her the already-healing skin on your hands ‘-and I almost freaked out again, but I managed to get back here and the rest is in the past.’

‘That sounds like quite the outing. Regardless, I am going to personally make sure you get a good night’s sleep,’ Rose told you. You just smiled gratefully at her and you sipped your blood again. She offered a side-hug and you gladly accepted, leaning heavily into her. She was warm, and smelled of what you imagined happiness to smell like.

Whatever. You’re getting sappy, but oh well. Who says you don’t enjoy it?

**Author's Note:**

> really don't know how I feel about this?? It's been written over two days so idk man  
> I also haven't checked through this so if anyone even reads these, please tell me any mistakes!


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